“Yes! You Will Be Judged” | Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

Hey! Hello! Hi! How have you been? and how is the month of MAY going for you?

So, I have been watching SUITS for a couple of months now (lol yes, I am so late to the party) but here is the gist – I am so fascinated by the lawyers. I am like; woot!, see them coming up with ways to save the day and looking all cute suited up. Harvey Specter is one of my faves – haha attitude and all, and Jessica Pearson is in a league of her own – her class, dresses and confidence!

Okay Temi, what is the point?

I could not help but wonder about a real lawyer watching this show, noticing all the loopholes and frankly struggling to connect with the show because they know how law works in actual reality. I totally get it. I am a registered nurse and I know little to nothing about the field of law or any other field really so maybe that explains my extra fascination for SUITS, but bring me a medical show like Grey’s anatomy or the Nigerian medical drama – Heart and Soul on Netflix and I can point out a number of things that are very untrue and improper. I cannot ignore the mistakes because I have “inside” gist (a.k.a I know the reality because I work in the hospital). I am constantly critiquing but someone else might be super intrigued by the show.

Now what does SUITS have to do with Imposter Syndrome you’d ask.

This reminded me of something Tolu Michaels, a personal brand strategist, said. She was talking about imposter’s syndrome and stated that one of the thoughts that leave people paralyzed and not wanting to step out is “what will people say?”. She then goes on to say “yes, people will judge you and people would talk”

Here is what she meant – an expert will look at what you (a newbie) is sharing and might critique you (in this context let’s say judge you) but you need not be deterred by that because all experts started as amateurs and you know what, your message is not for them.

I was like whatttt!! Normally to counter this, you’d hear you are only worried about what people will say but no one really says anything. Well, on one end that is true but on another end it is not, because if you venture into business as a newbie and share your business lessons with someone who has 25 years of experience, they may not be wowed by what you share. Does that mean that what you share is untrue? No!, it means they are not your target audience. I might read a medical article from someone with same nursing experience as mine and not jump or be ecstatic, not because they haven’t shared the right stuff but because I already know it. If the person’s aim of sharing was to educate someone to take their health more seriously in that direction and I already do that, then I am not their target audience. Thus, if they now base their decision to continue sharing on my response, they have missed it.

Imposter syndrome is the internal fear that you are not as good as people think you are. That your accomplishments are from sheer luck and you do not deserve any accolades or deserve to be noticed. That you are a fraud and will be exposed soon. Imposter syndrome paralyzes you and makes you shrink back for the most part. I deal with this. A lot of us deal with this. I would share below a non exclusive list of how to handle imposter syndrome;

1. Keep in mind that people will judge you and be open to receiving criticism but also remember that the people who need your message/product/video etc. will come around. Embrace them as they embrace you and choose to focus on them instead.
2. Continue to build expertise on what matters to you. We all start from a point and add layers to it, so if you need to study some more on the topic to make it make sense, then do it! No one is an overnight success.
3. Truth is someone needs your voice. No one else has the unique combination that you have. Absolutely no one!
4. Keep an accomplishment or brag sheet – This is where you write out your achievements so far, things you are proud of, kind words people have said to you. Go back to them when you feel the you-are-not-good-enough voice creeping in
5. Remember the best of us plus the people you admire deal with imposter syndrome too, they just do it in spite of it and show up anyway.

Thank you for reading up until this point, now go conquer that Imposter Syndrome.

Get access to Tolu Michaels email community here and check her personal website here

Before you go, I need to let you know that is always a delight that you make time to read what I write. I am truly honored and grateful!

With love,

Temiloluwa