This is a sequel post. I wrote one to the brothers. Here’s the link (https://temidimples.wordpress.com/2020/08/07/dear-christian-brothers/). I got a lot of “what about the sisters?” ?? and I challenged them to write their open letter and this is what we have.
Disclaimer: I didn’t write this. I did edit it though and added my thoughts in bracket too :). Let me know what you think in the comments.
So here goes;
Dating (or courtship – whateveryou prefer) and marriage go beyond being spiritual. Don’t get me wrong, you need God in getting the right person and as a daughter of Zion, you need to be treated as one. However you need more than prayers and church attendance to sustain your relationship. (You need to put in the work alongside prayers). With this in mind, the brothers however have expectations just like the sisters do. I will do a quick run on what we expect.
1. Appearance: You can be modest yet classy, we are not asking you to wear revealing or clingy clothes. However, look smart, comfortable and presentable; even Queen Esther was modest yet classy. Also, hygiene. Wool Hair (any hair in general I’d add), fine, but can you keep it tidy and neat?
2. Spirit of discernment not mind reading: Often times brothers are blamed for not meeting the sister’s need or not being able to read her mood. Sis, tell us what you want.
Don’t expect us to know what you are thinking or planning as we are not wizards now. (They said they have spirit of discernment not mind reading lol please don’t confuse the two from henceforth. T for thanks)
3. Sport: “If he likes me, he needs to like the movies I watch” but you don’t even know his Favorite football team , neither can you mention a single player in his Team. Sis work on it! (My chwest!). Brothers naturally feel a unique bond with sisters who show interest in sports and activities they like. This will even help strengthen the relationship and might be a great avenue to know how your partner reacts when he wins or loses.
4. Interests: Show us you know more than just the books of the Bible. (Gbas gbos, okurr ???). Brothers enjoy healthy and informed discussions on politics, science-fiction and even world economy. Read and learn more on trending news.
5. Financial sense ?: How prudent are you with money? yes we know the Earth is the lord’s and the fullness thereof, but can you efficiently keep and appropriate funds? No brother wants to marry a money blower (and vice versa ?)
6. Chemistry?: Yes we know you are a good chorister but apart from singing, what other activities do you enjoy doing?. Do you enjoy planting trees, playing chess, or hiking?
7. Take the lead sometimes, send the first message, plan a date or event. Brothers easily feel they are forcing you to do things when they always have to make the first move. (In my opinion, this is when you are both mutually on to something)
8. Can you not say everything to your friends?? This part sounds controversial but hear me out. Brothers most times test loyalty. It’s cool to carry your friend along but can you keep a secret??
9. Value: Add to us, we are not asking to be pampered. A little word of encouragement, prayer and tips will go a long way in boosting our morales.
10.Correct us and not keep grudges. Brothers seem to be more loose around friends than sisters and sometimes say things or do things that the sister might not find funny. Please kindly inform us of this so we can make amends.
We heard you the first time. Please give us time and room to process the tasks or actions you want us to take. We will do it. It might just take a bit longer.
Lastly, motivate yourself. It increases the value of the union. (I guess be happy and have enough sense of worth as an individual so you are not constantly placing the burden on another individual)
From your brother in Christ
I look forward to your feedback 😀
Thank you brother(s) in Christ ?
Till the next post