We had started dating in 2016 and recently broke up 3 months ago. He was everything I dreamed of. His eyes lit up with passion when he talked. His smile was almost like that of an angel even though I had not seen one before. I couldn’t help but think his smile was an angelic smile. Oh, and the sound of his voice? Mesmerizing. I could listen to him all day and not get bored. The first time he walked into class, I noticed him and thought “hmmn not bad”, then I positioned myself to be seen by him. You know, what we call shoot your shot. Subtle yet intentional.
I smiled at his text again. He always had the right words, I thought to myself. Did I want to keep on chatting? Or just end the conversation and go to bed? I was torn between these two choices. My heart raced back and forth trying to make the best decision. Deep down I knew the best decision but I badly wanted to pick up my phone and respond to him and keep talking. Does this sound like you? I am here for you. I wanna share a few tips that have helped me in the past to not contact somebody I should not be contacting ??. Just keep reading.
But quickly, how are you doing? I hope you are doing your best to stay safe. Can you pause and just say a prayer about the Covid 19 Situation. Ask God to heal the land and help us come out stronger. Ask for comfort for persons and nations afflicted and lastly ask for an understanding of this season and how you are to respond. Okay now that that is done. Let’s talk about the temptations of this quarantine period.
I totally feel like in this period it is so easy to slip back into old ways in terms of slightly opening the door to relationships/situationships that you have said goodbye to, especially if you have gone through a recent break up or you are now placing boundaries. This is mostly because your usual distractions are on the low – like not being physically in class, going to work, hanging out with your friends and whatever else had helped you cope. God help you you are now on social media and seeing the tiktok couple videos (the God when gang say hello ?).
Now, you are more likely to think more about this person and miss them and start a conversation that you do not intend to sustain after COVID19 is over. I have found myself in tricky situations like that and here’s a list of things that have helped me whenever I felt like texting first or texting back (mind you I failed woefully at times). I am limiting the tips here to what’s reasonable within this quarantine period.
1. I turn off my internet connection: At least I get rid of 80% of the connection points – whatsapp, IG etc
2. I go to airplane mode if regular texting or calling is entering my eye
3. I sleep quick lol
4. I play worship music or start a praise party
5. I text or call my friends
6. I watch a movie whilst my phone is unreachable and thus less tempting to touch or like keep my phone far away and watch the movie
7. I play with makeup and give myself a face beat. For guys you can decide to play FIFA, play football manager etc
8. If you can, read the word or journal your thoughts (this one is usually hard for me cos I end up thinking about memories with this person hence I just do number 4)
9. I block possible conversation starters like mute their stories, delete their number in some cases, limit my own posting.
10. I listen to a podcast/sermon, watch inspirational videos/ and go into goal setting mode
11. I read blog posts and materials from someone inspirational that I admire.
12. Talk it out with God. Say God I wanna text or call this person in the long run it won’t be worth it please help me. Still do one/some of the others listed above too.
Hopefully this helps you in this time.
Don’t be starting conversations you do not intend to sustain after you are back to your regular life and ‘less bored’. Been there, done that, and it’s trouble HAHA. Don’t be like me. Also, if anyone has more tips,please leave in the comment section
Take care guys and stay safe.
p.s: In the course of searching for the emoji in the title, I found out the person is making an okay gesture as in ballerina style. I always thought it was “mogbe” (Yoruba language which means I am in trouble) Haha all these emojis are subject to personal and cultural interpretation
Disclaimer: This post is for those who know in their hearts that this relationship isn’t headed anywhere and not good for you ‘cos some of you might need to really work out your relationships in this season
Final p.s.s: I was going to do a fictional story oo hence the paparazzi of the first 2 paragraphs but I wasn’t sure of the direction and I wanted to share these tips, so I just posted a medley of both.
With love,
Temidimples
Very helpful tips, Temi…For me, I am a rip the band aid off kind of person…so I delete them off every possible avenue for contact, block their numbers for both texting/calling so they don’t even have an opportunity to reach out to me too…its worked out so far, just that sometimes, I think I overdo it, cos at times before the relationship even goes that bad , I am already taking the steps above..I just have a thing for protecting my heart very fast!
Hey Bukola, ?? I feel you. My philosophy is protect you first, we will all be alright in the long run. So when you have weighed the options and decided what’s best for you, if you need to block to keep the distance and help the situation, please block.